I have been recently listening to Mind Rules, a book by John Medina. In it he states, “Multitasking, when it comes to paying attention, is a myth”. Now, you may think that you multitask but what you really do is switch brain tasks based on what we are wanting to perform at any moment in time which can take the brain a large fractions of seconds to switch… You may have your phone in front of you, your computer may be loaded with lots of different screens or browser tabs, and you switch between them constantly…and wonder why you may feel tired at the end of the day, and felt like you have achieved nothing.

Do you know that in relationships, we have a tendancy to reflect patterns of behaviour?  A pattern can be reflected by each other in many ways, some of which is good, and some negative. The pattern or behaviour can mean one thing to one person, and yet mean something completely different to another.

As couples, there are shared reflective patterns which can be detrimental to our relationship, unless one calls it out by noticing what’s happening.  The patterns may include being too assertive or passive, becoming self justifying, being too giving, or even ignoring our partner. This can lead to relationships breaking down, as we reflect the negative, and forget to affirm the positive.

All of these behaviours always have a positive intent; self protection, protection of another, avoiding arguments, not wanting to hurt someone, etc, however our positive intent is not always useful to ourselves or the other person.