Pivot Away from Negative Emotions
Our mind skills tip for today is one way you can change negative thoughts. Remember you are in charge of your mind, your mind doesn’t have to control you.
We all have negative thoughts and emotions. It’s part of the human experience. But there are days when one negative thought can lead to the next one, and another one and another one. And the emotions that come with it just get more annoying, and stronger, until pretty soon what started as a simple thought has ruined not only your day, but your entire life.
There are loads of strategies to think positive: go for a walk, or flip the thought, but what if the thinking spiral has got you by the short n curlies and you haven’t even had your first coffee? And those emotions have loaded the thinking with a whip and self judgement to help you beat yourself up.
Did you know that human beings are the only creatures that can have a thought about a thought? It can go something like this….“Today is going to be a good day. I said that yesterday and look how that turned out. No, today I’m going to start positive. Oh I’m an idiot, positive thinking doesn’t work. Crap, I’m stupid for calling myself an idiot. I’m such a muppet for calling myself stupid. Stupid is as stupid does. Dumb ass is more like it” And soon you’re feeling quite dumb and totally demotivated to do anything today. Its 7.00am and your day has already turned to crap.
In neuroscience, they don’t know which comes first, the thought or the emotions. But thinking changes your neurochemistry and your neurochemistry changes your thinking. If you’re at the bottom of the rabbit hole, not knowing which ugly thought is going to turn on you next, you could learn to pivot.
Have you ever been curious? Or vaguely interested in something? Had your attention caught by something you’re not sure about? Or noticed something that could not quite capture your full attention?
I like start with curiosity. For example – “Oh I’m an idiot, positive thinking doesn’t work. Crap, I’m stupid for calling myself an idiot. I’m such a muppet for calling myself stupid. That’s curious – wonder where that thought came from. I wonder what would happen if I thought a different thought. You know what thought thought – thought thought his arse was cold so he got out of bed and tucked it back in. At least its warm there. Are thoughts warm? “
What you’re doing here is not having positive thoughts, but pivoting your thoughts away from the negative direction they were heading. And if you’re going to have thoughts about thoughts anyway, you might as well send them in a direction that gets you out of rabbit holes and bad feelings.
Once you’ve tucked your thoughts back in, you can then choose a better thought – or reboot. Something like this.
“Are thoughts warm? Is it going to be warm today? I wonder what the day will bring? I hope it brings something I like. What do I like? I like people who drive well and have patience on the roads. I like quality conversations and inspiring people. I like to smile. It would be great to find something to smile about today. I wonder if I can catch a smile and pass it on. Yellow smiley face – wonder if that really came from Forest Gump. That was a good movie. Life is like a box of chocolates. I’ll have the soft centre ones today”
and you’ve pivoted enough to think about what it is you want to think. Gratitude, positive intention, outcomes or goals, activating your RAS – any of these thoughts
Pivoting is a concept I picked up from the work of Abraham Hicks, however its useful to have a bridge from negative thinking, to thinking about thinking before you get to positive thinking, as it seems to help you dissociate the negative thinking first. Curiosity, mild interest and observer states are all useful to engage in pivoting.
Have lots of fun with this. And remember not everything works for everyone. So if you’d like to stop negative thoughts in different ways, just comment below and we’d love to help you think better thoughts.
About the Author Karren Kerrisk
Karren is the Principal NLP Trainer and Coach for Mind Skills Mastery. She has a background in Personal and Professional change, and has enabled many clients to achieve life changing results in their relationships, careers and finances. Karren is an internationally certified New Code NLP Trainer and member of the International Coaching Federation.